All Is Not Bright: Post scene to All is Bright
by Mulderette
Summary: Sam comes to the realization that things are not going well for his partner. Contains season nine spoilers up through this episode.


_I really tried not to write this story, but I couldn't get the last episode out of my head, especially the ending so here it is. Just my own perspective._

 _Also, just a note for anyone reading "The Game," I do realize I've been overlooking this one, partly because of having trouble with the next chapter and more so because my head has been focused on Christmas stories and trying to finally finish "Fight to Survive." In any case, rest assured I'll be much more focused on it during the new year._

 _Wishing all of you a wonderful holiday season and thanks for your support throughout the year._

xxxxx

"So…did you want to come to Christmas dinner?" Callen's eyes had just the slightest bit of pleading in them as he looked at Finn and waited for the boy's answer.

Finn looked back at Callen for a long moment. "Just us?" he finally asked.

Callen nodded. "Yeah…I'm downsizing this year." He smoothly hid any hurt in his voice as he answered Finn's question. He didn't mention how he and Anna had decided to break things off between them when she had accepted a long-term assignment overseas. Perhaps they would revisit their relationship at a later date or perhaps not. He really didn't know.

He didn't mention Garrison and how they rarely spoke and he honestly had no idea where his father was at the moment. Finding his father had turned into yet another bitter disappointment in his life. He had discovered his name, but he had also discovered that Garrison seemingly wanted very little to do with him. Nor did he mention Alex and his nephew. Without Garrison in the picture, his relationship with his half-sister had never really even begun and now it had basically dissolved into nothingness.

He didn't mention Hetty, the woman who was the closest person he had to a mother and who could be anywhere at the moment.

Finally, he didn't mention Sam. He knew his partner and his children would be having a rough time this Christmas, but he had really thought that he would have been having Christmas alongside them and they could have helped each other through it. Over the years, he had spent a lot of Christmases with the Hanna family and he was going to miss that. He really missed Michelle as well, but he didn't think anyone really ever thought about the effect her loss had on him. As soon as the thought crossed his mind though he was overwhelmed with guilt and he told himself that this wasn't about him. It was about Sam, Aiden and Kamran.

"Okay," Finn nodded in agreement and Callen felt a surge of gratefulness inside him that he wouldn't have to spend the holiday alone.

"Do you like brisket?" Callen asked gruffly. "If you don't, we can have something else."

"Brisket sounds good," Finn replied. Inwardly, the boy couldn't help but wonder why this man was taking such an interest in him and why he had no one else to share Christmas with, but he wasn't about to question it as he also would have been spending the day alone if it wasn't for Callen's invitation. "Do you want me to bring anything?"

Callen shook his head. "Just bring yourself. I'll text you the address."

"What time should I come?" Finn asked.

"1 o'clock," Callen answered.

"Okay…I'll see you then."

xxxxx

"Where are we going to eat Christmas dinner?" Kamran asked glumly. They had spent the night in a very nice hotel suite and then had eaten a delicious breakfast in the hotel dining room. Now they were back onboard the boat and had just finished opening their gifts. Although the presents had been nice and Aiden and Kam had responded appropriately, it had all just seemed like something they had to do. They hadn't experienced any of the past feelings of Christmas warmth and excitement.

"I just figured we'd eat in the restaurant again," Sam said. "Why? Is there somewhere else you'd like to go? A lot of places aren't open today."

Aiden and Kamran exchanged a long look, neither of them looking particularly happy.

"No." Aiden finally answered, but there was a look in his eyes that Sam didn't quite recognize.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked his son.

"Nothing," the boy replied. "Nothing's wrong at all."

"That's not true," Kamran finally spoke up.

"Okay…" Sam focused his attention on his daughter. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong…I can't fix it if I don't know what the problem is."

"It doesn't matter," Kamran said shifting her eyes to the small pile of gifts and torn wrapping paper on the floor in the center of the room. There were no decorations. There was no tree. Their father had explained to them that he just couldn't do it this year and she and Aiden understood, but it just didn't feel like Christmas. Then again, without their mother, maybe it wasn't supposed to.

"Come on baby girl…" When he got no response from her, Sam turned back his son. "Aiden?"

Aiden just shrugged. "The hotel dining room is fine for Christmas dinner," he said, deciding it was easier to go back to his father's original question.

"Okay," Sam said. "How about a movie? We can have dinner this afternoon and then go see the new Star Wars movie. I know you both want to see it."

Aiden had already seen the movie with friends at school, but didn't have the heart to tell his father. Kamran, however, didn't hold back. "Aiden already saw it," she stated.

"Oh…you did?" Sam asked his son, beginning to feel at a loss as to what they could do.

"Yeah, but it was really good, dad," Aiden said quickly. "I was planning to see it again."

"We could see Pitch Perfect 3," Kamran said as Aiden quickly shook his head.

"No way, Star Wars is a thousand times better than that stupid movie," Aiden stated. "You couldn't pay me enough to see it."

"Fine, I don't care. See Star Wars!" At that point, the emotions Kamran had been admirably holding back finally got the best of her and tears filled her eyes. "We never had to see movies on Christmas before. No one even cares about us anymore!"

"Whoa, what do you mean?" Sam asked in concern as he looked at his daughter. "Lots of people care about us."

"Who?" Kamran asked, her eyes flashing. "Hetty? Uncle Callen? They don't care. If they did, we wouldn't be having Christmas on this…this stupid boat!"

"Hetty…she's away right now…" Sam said quietly, trying not to take the comment about the boat personally.

"And what about Uncle Callen? He always has Christmas with us. Why didn't he want to this year? Because it wouldn't be a happy day?"

Sam shook his head. "He…he invited us, but…I thought…"

"He invited us?" Kamran asked softly. She managed to calm her brief flare of anger and looked up at Sam woefully. "And you told him no?"

"I…I thought it would be better for it to be just the three of us this year…"

"So, who is Uncle Callen having dinner with? His dad?" Kamran asked. She knew that he had done that the previous year. She had missed him, but she had understood and he had stopped by that night with presents and they had all shared a nice visit. That had been their last Christmas with their mom and Uncle Callen together.

"I…" With a sudden vivid clarity, Sam realized that he had no idea who Callen was sharing Christmas dinner with. "I don't know…"

"You don't know?" Kamran asked, looking visibly upset by that tidbit of information. "What if he has nobody, daddy? What if Uncle Callen is all alone?"

Sam shook his head slowly. "He can't be alone," he whispered almost to himself. But as he thought back over the previous weeks and months, he realized that Callen had shared very little personal information these days. His partner had been almost single-mindedly focused on Sam and his grief. Sam really had no idea what was going on with Callen lately. He was hit with a sudden surge of guilt and he began to fear that his daughter's assumption that G was spending Christmas by himself could be correct.

"Uncle Callen's all alone on Christmas," Kamran said as she started to cry, the emotions of the day finally catching up with her. "Mommy's gone and now we don't have Uncle Callen either."

"Come here, baby." Sam coaxed until finally she came into his arms and he hugged her tightly. "You still have Uncle Callen. I'll make this better. I promise I will."

xxxxx

"You've got a nice place here," Finn said as Callen pulled the brisket out of the oven. "Can I help with something?"

Callen shook his head. "No. I've got it. I think I should let it cool a bit and then slice it." The meal was simple; brisket, baked potatoes, carrots, green beans and rolls which he hadn't yet put into the oven. He was pretty proud of himself that he had managed it on his own. Granted, it was all very uncomplicated, but still he usually didn't cook, so for him to have done this was a step forward. He placed the brisket on his new dining room table and then got some plates from the cabinet.

"I can do that," Finn said, taking the plates from Callen. "Where's your silverware?"

"Over in that drawer," Callen said, pointing.

Finn walked over to the drawer and pulled out the required utensils then set the table as Callen put the dinner rolls on a cookie sheet and put it in the oven. "They don't take long to cook," Callen said. "You can sit down if you want."

"Okay," Finn said as he pulled out a chair and took a seat at the table. At that moment, the doorbell rang. Callen, who was in the process of carving the brisket, stopped short and stared in the direction of the front of the house. "Uh… are you going to answer that?" Finn asked, looking more than a little bit uncomfortable.

"Yeah, yeah…I'll be right back," Callen said as he went to the front door. He opened it and looked into the eyes of his partner. Kamran was in front of him and Aiden at his side. For a few long moments he just stared at them tongue-tied before he finally spoke. "Hi," he said softly.

"Merry Christmas, Uncle Callen," Kamran took two steps forward and hugged him tightly. "I've missed you."

"Merry Christmas, Kam," he replied as he returned her embrace. "I've missed you too." After a few moments they released each other and Callen hugged Sam's son. "Merry Christmas, Aiden. It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Uncle Callen," Aiden said with a grin. "Merry Christmas."

Callen then turned his attention to his partner, his blue eyes full of questions. "Can we come in, G?" Sam finally asked.

"Yeah, of course, I'm sorry," Callen said as he stood aside to let them into the house.

"Hey Callen?" Finn came into the living room and stopped short when he saw the unfamiliar guests. "The rolls…should I take them out of the oven? The timer went off…"

"I'll get them," Callen said before turning to Sam's family. "I'll be right back." He went into the kitchen and took the rolls out of the oven.

"I thought you said it was just going to be us?" Finn asked, watching as Callen put the rolls into a bowl.

"I thought it was," Callen said. "I didn't expect them to show up."

"Maybe I should go?" Finn questioned.

Callen quickly shook his head. "Of course you shouldn't go, Finn. Come on. I'll introduce you." He put his arm around Finn's shoulders and the two walked back into the living room where Sam and his children were waiting. "Everybody, this is Finn. He's a friend of mine. Finn, this is my partner, Sam, his son, Aiden and daughter, Kamran.

Greetings were exchanged and then everyone stood there, the situation more than a little bit awkward. "I'm sorry, G…I guess I should have called," Sam said quietly.

"We brought a ham and some other things," Kamran stated. "We didn't want to come without bringing food. We finally found a place that was open and still had food left." She then looked around the living room with a smile on her face. "Uncle Callen! You decorated. I didn't think you ever had a tree." She walked over to the sofa and sat on it, bouncing up and down lightly as she did so. "And you got furniture? Daddy didn't tell us you got furniture."

"Yeah, well…your dad didn't know," Callen said as he shot a darting look at Sam but then quickly looked away. "Well, come on. Let's see what you have here." Callen and Kamran then headed for the kitchen with Finn following behind them and Aiden and Sam bringing up the rear.

"Wow…you have a dining room set too?" Sam asked. He stood there awkwardly as Finn got some more plates and silverware and efficiently put them on the table.

"Who is this kid, dad?" Aiden whispered to his father. "He's like my age, isn't he?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah…Yeah, I guess he is about your age."

"Thanks for bringing all this food, Sam," Callen said as he began to heat the side dishes in the microwave. By now, he had regained his composure. "Why don't you guys take a seat?"

"Do you need any help?" Finn asked. It was obvious that he wasn't really comfortable with the situation.

"Yeah, thanks," Callen said. "Do you want to get some butter from the fridge and put it on the table?" The ham was still hot and Callen quickly got the mashed potatoes and vegetable medley Sam had brought heated up. He then went and took his place at the table with everyone else.

"Your house looks really nice, Uncle Callen," Kamran said, smiling at him. "I really like it."

"Thanks, Kam," Callen said, returning her smile. "So, how are you guys doing?" He glanced at Aiden, letting the boy know that he was being included in the conversation. "School still going well?"

Aiden nodded. "It is for me. I like it a lot."

"I love my school," Kamran said enthusiastically. She looked over at Finn curiously. "Do you go to school, Finn?" she asked.

"Uh no…" Finn replied, shifting slightly in his chair. "I graduated in May."

"Me too," Aiden said. "I'm in my first year at Annapolis."

"Yeah?" Finn raised an eyebrow, seemingly impressed. "That's a long way from here."

"It's totally worth it, even with the cold weather and the snow."

"So, if you don't go to school, do you have a job?" Kamran asked, her eyes fixed on Finn with a faint smile on her lips. She couldn't help but notice that Finn was very cute.

"I just…I do different jobs to make money," Finn said.

Sam could see that the boy was uncomfortable. "Enough with the third degree, Kam," he said. "Let's just eat."

"Okay," Kamran focused on the plate in front of her but her eyes kept going back to Finn periodically through the meal.

xxxxx

After dinner, Sam helped Callen clear the table after they had sent the young people to the living room. "So, furniture, Christmas decorations… Who are you and what have you done with my partner?" Sam asked as he and Callen carried some dishes to the sink.

Callen turned on the water but didn't answer.

"Seriously, G…what's up with all this?" Sam asked.

"Nothing." Callen poured some dish soap into the basin in the sink and watched as the water level began to slowly rise.

"I know it's something. Oh, is Anna moving in with you? Is that it?" Sam asked.

"Anna and I aren't together anymore." Callen spoke matter-of-factly, but he didn't look at his partner, keeping his eyes on the basin which was filling too slowly for his liking.

"What?" Sam gently put his hand on his partner's shoulder and pulled him so that they were facing each other. "When did this happen?"

Callen shrugged. "A couple of months ago, I guess."

"Two months?" Sam's eyes widened. "How can that be? How could I not know about this?"

"I don't know, Sam. Maybe we were busy on a case." Callen turned back to the sink and began to wash one of the dishes. He really didn't want to talk about any of this. He'd been burying his feelings on many things over these past months and he just wanted to continue to do so.

"How about your father, G?" Sam asked softly. "Where is he?"

"I have no idea," Callen replied.

"What about Alex?" Sam persisted in his questions.

"I don't really talk to her, Sam, haven't in months," Callen finally turned away from the sink and faced his partner willingly. "You have enough to worry about. Why does any of this matter to you anyway?"

Sam felt as if Callen had punched him in the gut. "What do you mean why does it matter? You're my best friend, G. Of course it matters…"

"I miss her too, you know…" The words came out before Callen could stop them and he immediately regretted them. This was exactly what he hadn't wanted to do. He had tried so hard not to show his emotions. He wanted to be there for his friend and his family and not let his own personal feelings become a part of it.

"Michelle?" Sam asked, his voice barely a whisper. Somehow, he knew G wasn't talking about Anna or Alex or even Hetty at the moment. He really hadn't given much thought at all to his friend's life lately and he suddenly didn't feel very good about himself at all.

Callen nodded, tears brimming in his blue eyes and he turned away from Sam again. He didn't want to do this. "Forget I said that, Sam. I really don't want to talk about this."

"I know you miss Michelle… I'm sorry, G…I really am sorry." He had known Callen missed his wife, but, once again, he hadn't given it much thought, if any.

Callen shook his head as he stared back into the soapy water which had suddenly become the most fascinating thing in the world to him. "I don't want that Sam. I don't want you to be sorry. I know how hard these months have been for you and the kids. Please…I don't want to do this."

"Sorry buddy, but we are doing it," Sam said. "Come on, G…look at me."

Callen slowly turned back to his partner once again. He had managed to keep himself expressionless but he couldn't do anything about the emotions in his eyes which Sam could recognize clear as day. "What?"

"Did I make you feel like you couldn't talk to me about what's been going on, G? Because if I did, I'm really sorry. I never wanted you to feel that way."

"It wasn't you, Sam," Callen protested. "It was all me."

"But why?" Sam persisted. "Why couldn't you at least tell me about Anna?" He'd known Callen and his so-called father hadn't been connecting, but he had really assumed that things were going well with Anna. Of course, now looking back, he realized that Callen hadn't mentioned her at all in the recent past and he hadn't picked up on it. He kicked himself now for not putting any of this together. He also knew Hetty's absence had to be affecting him, especially at this time of year and he hadn't even given that a moment's thought either.

Callen sighed heavily. "I don't know, Sam…I just didn't. I know what you're going through. I wasn't going to add to it."

"It wouldn't have added to it, G. I'm sorry you didn't feel like you couldn't come to me. I'm sorry about today as well. I assumed things about Christmas that I shouldn't have assumed and I owe you a huge apology for that." With another burst of sudden clarity, Sam also began to realize that Callen had been preparing his home for him and the kids with the furniture and especially the Christmas tree. He knew there was no way Callen had suddenly decided to have a Christmas tree for himself, especially if he was as sad and alone as Sam now saw that he was.

"You don't owe me an apology, Sam," Callen responded, shaking his head. "Let's just move past this now, please?"

"Okay, G. We'll drop it…for now." Sam nodded as he realized his friend had reached his limit, as far as sharing went, for the time being. At that moment, he was very grateful that his daughter had gotten him to open up his eyes and gain a whole new perspective on what was going on with his partner. If it hadn't been for Kamran, he wouldn't have any idea about any of this. He was going to pay a lot more attention to his partner's life and feelings in the future, no matter how hard G might try to keep things hidden from him. No matter what his partner might think, it wasn't just about him and his kids. G had feelings too.

xxxxx

"It was nice to meet you," Finn said as Sam and his family made their way to the front door.

"It was great to meet you too, Finn," Aiden said with a friendly smile. "I'll catch you online."

Finn nodded and returned Aiden's smile. "Sounds good."

"I'll see you online too," Kamran piped up, not wanting to be overlooked. "I have lots of exciting things going on that I talk about on Facebook."

"Okay, I'll see you online too, Kam," Finn said with a chuckle.

"So…you'll meet us for dinner on Wednesday?" Sam asked, his eyes focused on his partner. He had taken off the week to spend with his kids.

Callen nodded. "Yes, you name the time and place and I'll be there, barring a case."

Kamran and Aiden then hugged Callen and Sam did as well, holding onto him a little bit longer and tighter than usual. "Merry Christmas, G… Thank you very much, for everything."


End file.
